Like many boys, I grew up with a basketball goal in my drive way. As I shot meaningless basket after basket, I wasn't just hoisting up bricks that would bounce awkwardly off the rim and into my neighbors' yard. In my mind, I was competing at the sports' highest level - I was taking a pass from Magic or Bird and trying to win the NBA Finals as the clock counted down to 3..2..1..
That's the way guys' minds operate - we're not just doing the task at hand, we're doing it at the highest level possible. What guy among us doesn't daydream that we're grooming the outfield at Yankee Stadium as we're cutting the Bermuda and dandelions in our backyard?
Road trips are no different. Guys romanticize the notion of hitting the open road. We think we'll have the time of our lives. The reality of filling up every 300 miles at a Shell station or getting caught for miles behind an Astro minivan never enters in to our ideal version of a road trip. But before too long, we tend to have short memories about things that suck on road trips and get caught up in our road trip fantasies once again.
When guys get jonesed about going on a road trip, we tend to have some common visions floating around in our heads. These are the things that call us to the open road, but, in actuality, rarely (if ever) happen. Here, then, are five great road trip urban legends.
1. Hot Girl/Nice Car - Why would hot girl in sports cars be cruising down the highway in the middle on nowhere? I blame National Lampoon's Vacation for putting this idea in every guy's head. What's that in my side mirror? A red Ferrari? And just suppose for a moment that a modern-day Christie Brinkley did pull up beside you. You think she's driving down the interstate to flirt with some random guy in a Dodge Stratus?
2. Stunning Scenery - If you live in 99% of the country, you may want to vacation somewhere that has breathtaking mountain or coastline views, but you have to drive through hundreds of miles of urban sprawl or non-descript nothingness to get there. Does that sign up ahead say "Scenic Turnout: Active Volcano, Next Exit"? No wait, it says "Red Roof Inn/Wendy's Next Exit".
3. Ideal Weather - Every road trip fantasy involves top down and the wind blowing in your hair. But what happens if it's raining? Or snowing. Or if it's 45 degrees with a north wind blowing? Or if it's 95 degrees and you're driving through stop-and-go traffic inhaling the exhaust of the grab age truck in front of you. See, it's tough to create the ideal driving climate. The perfect day and the perfect place for that road trip fantasy is tough to find.
4. Time/Funds/Money - The notion of a fantasy is to escape reality. It's a challenge to put yourself in the right place a the right time to enjoy a road trip. Why? Mainly because you have a job, a family, and a bank account with exhaustible funds. You live in the real world, not some Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous episode. So bottom line: You have one week in late July to have the perfect road trip or a long weekend in October. Good luck!
5. Perfect Playlist - Remember in Jerry Maguire when Tom Cruise was in the car after pitching his services to Tuck and he was looking for the perfect song to celebrate. Nothing would do, until he found Free Fallin', by Tom Petty. Well, we've come a long way since the days of the mix tape or scanning the FM dial, but it's still a challenge to match mood and moment on your iPod. That's even harder when you're sharing the car with road tripping buddies. Of all the items on this list, that's the one thing you should be able to work through, but still not easy to get right.
No comments:
Post a Comment